15 Personal Lessons in January 2010

Enjoy the simple pleasures in life. The winter scenery in Boston can be beautiful.

1. Your friends can make a difference in your life, but you have to let them know what differences you want to make. I was pleasantly surprised by friends who offered me great advice on exercising and healthy cooking after reading my New Year’s Resolutions. Remember to share your goals with others!

2. Don’t accept your own excuses. It’s raining, it’s cold, I’m lazy, I have other things to do, etc. are all just excuses. I focused on the priority and was able to go to the gym 14 times this month! Put your head into your goal and don’t let yourself be your biggest enemy.

3. Enjoy a conversation. I had several hour-long phone chats with friends this month, exchanged 19 emails with another friend, and struck up a great conversation with the woman sitting next to me on my flight to Boston. Start calling your friends if you want to enjoy a rich conversation with them; I love Facebook but it ironically disconnects you from building deep relationships.

4. Sharing your convictions with others is a good way to test them. I really had to dig deep into my beliefs about lifestyle design and its concepts before I felt confident that I could convince my friend they were do-able.

5. Ask yourself some inquisitive questions. Answering the essay questions for some conferences that I applied to allowed me to reflect on my values, experiences, and my bigger goals in life. Several good ones that might get you thinking include “describe how your upbringing defines who you are today,” “what do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment,” and “how can [insert resource] help you solve the issues you care about.”

6. Treat life like it is your classroom. I have a friend who wishes she could be in school forever. I thought about it and then realized I that I am in school forever if I just think of life as my classroom and my current job as doing a lab in leadership. Life can be as exciting as school if you continually challenge yourself with diverse and interesting labs/assignments and reflect on what you learn.

7. Surround yourself with people who want you to do the extraordinary. I accepted co-chairing a banquet after hearing about how different the other co-chair wanted to make it this year. We are energized when we can do things that are meaningful and will challenge us to develop skills. I had declined the same position a month ago when it had meant organizing just another dinner.

8. Give the gift of inspiration. A friend was inspired to make his own resolutions after reading my resolutions post, and I thoroughly enjoyed learning about his goals and seeing him write a blog post that I felt was better written than my own on his first try! Share the amazing things you do with others who may want to do the same.

9. The ability to accurately assess your efforts can be more important than if you succeeded or not. That’s the best feedback I received from a friend on my post analyzing my resolutions from 2009. Success can be about the journey and not just the destination.

10. Sing your heart out! A night of karaoke with friends is one of the easiest ways to have a fun and liberating experience. I should do this more often!

11. It’s important to prioritize important people in your life. I definitely wanted to celebrate my friend’s birthday and organized a dinner before I left for Boston. Not being able to make someone’s event doesn’t preclude you from making your own event for them.

12. I am addicted to traveling. It’s not always about exploring new places; I had a great time just hanging out with friends (and meeting new friends) in Boston and taking in the winter scenery. Thanks to everyone for all the good times!

13. I would rather experience the bittersweet to know what sweet tastes like. It just makes me know what I want and sets my standards for success that much higher. No pain, no gain.

14. Have lifelines who can keep you grounded. I immediately called two friends who I confide in when I experienced a difficult situation this month. Everyone needs to have lifelines to help them get through the personal and professional challenges in life. Read Keith Ferrazzi’s “Who’s Got Your Back” for more on lifelines (read “Never Eat Alone” first if you haven’t already).

15. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life. On a Monday morning when I didn’t have work, I decided to just breathe, admire the raindrops, eat a slice of toast with Nutella, listen to Yo-Yo Ma’s Obrigado Brazil, and then go to the gym. It was simple yet rich.

-KFC